A wonderful teacher of mine started a session of classes recently by showing us a flower and asking us to describe it. We said it looked strong, pretty, and red. He then showed us another flower, this one slightly bigger and again asked us to describe the first flower. We said it was delicate, small, pretty, and red. He held up one more flower, this one quite large and exotic and again asked us to describe the first flower. We now described it as being small, frail, red, and plain.
That poor flower! It did noting but sit there being its pretty red self, only to be diminished when put beside larger, fancier mates.
This is a perfect example of the comparing mind at work. And if you think we were mean to that flower, that’s nothing compared to what we can do to ourselves.
The first thing to know about the comparing mind is that it’s not your fault. It’s part of the reptilian/survival part of the brain and was very important in keeping the species alive.
The problem comes when we use it in situations where it’s not needed. We’re often encouraged to do so as children: “Why can’t you be more like Susie? She’s so pretty and polite.” You compare badly with Susie.
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