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  • Secret Agent Man: Naughty or Nice?

    Dear Santa,
    It’s been a long time. I hope this letter finds you well.
    Here’s a thought. Maybe it’s time to get an email address. Sending you an actual letter every year is a pain in the ass. Have you seen the post office? It’s on the verge of extinction. The people who work there look like extras from “The Walking Dead.”
    Anyway, I’m a little concerned about my behavior over the last 12 months. Have I been bad? I don’t know. You tell me. You’re the one who claims to always be watching. But let’s be fair. Behavior in Hollywood cannot be boiled down to right and wrong. There’s a lot of gray in this town.
    In my defense, most of my so-called “bad deeds” were committed for the greater good. Am I wrong when I steal an actor from a smaller company if that theft creates major career advancements for the actor? Is it bad to lie about a client’s ability if that lie results in an amazing audition that could change the client’s life? Is it a sin to fall asleep during a workshop if the sound of my snore inspires the untalented actors to do better next time?
    Look, Santa. Let’s cut to the chase. I’m not sending you an endless wish list this

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