Reflecting on my first few years in Los Angeles (having moved from Canada to pursue acting), it’s clear that there was a pattern: I said yes to anything. I was in survival mode.
I was focused on living day-to-day, saying yes to money. Even if something wasn’t acting related or aligned with my goals, I took what I could get. My decisions were just reactions. For years, I worked really hard in multiple directions which meant my main goals were put on the back burner. I slowly started to lose my sense of self. My frustration grew and I couldn’t imagine anything possibly fitting anything else into my schedule despite not seeing my momentum build toward becoming a full-time, working actor.
Needless to say, I wasn’t happy. But instead of thinking my way out of my situation, I distracted myself from the reality of not moving forward as an actor by binge-watching Netflix and eating ice cream and meeting friends and talking about what I wanted to do instead of actually doing it. Thinking strategically takes energy but I had spread myself (and my energy) so thin in a million different places that I didn’t have any left to focus on how to make my dream career
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